“O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones…” (Surah At-Tahrim 66:6)
Every community reaches a point when it must stop, look inward, and ask whether it is giving its children the guidance they need. This is not an invitation to condemn or blame anyone. It is a call for honest reflection about where we stand—and where we are taking the next generation.
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Our daughters are among the greatest blessings Allah has entrusted to us. They will become mothers, teachers, doctors, scholars, entrepreneurs, and leaders. They carry the hopes of their families and the future of the community. Yet many parents quietly worry that the world confronting their children is changing more rapidly than their ability to guide them.
This concern should not be mistaken for a judgment of every young Somali girl. Many are respectful, ambitious, modest, and bringing immense pride to their families. They deserve both recognition and support. The wider concern is that some young people—girls and boys alike—are confronting increasing pressure from social media, peers, unhealthy relationships, and settings where exploitation and damaging choices can occur.
If our concern is genuine, silence cannot remain our response. Fathers Must Return to Their Place of Leadership. The question is not simply, “What is wrong with our daughters?”
We should first ask: “Have we met our responsibilities as fathers, mothers, families, and a community?” Allah says: “O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire…” (Surah At-Tahrim 66:6) Protection involves more than food, clothing, and school fees. It also means safeguarding faith, character, dignity, and emotional well-being.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for those under his care.” (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim) A father’s role extends beyond earning money. He must also be a teacher, mentor, protector, listener, and example. Many fathers labor tirelessly for their families, and that sacrifice merits respect. But in today’s environment, financial support by itself is not sufficient. Children need time, attention, guidance, and a parent who is truly present.
The World Has Changed
Many parents grew up in a world far removed from the one their children now inhabit. Within minutes, a mobile phone can expose a teenager to influences from almost anywhere. Social media may reward visibility and attention rather than modesty. Peer pressure can make harmful conduct seem ordinary, while predatory adults may take advantage of loneliness, insecurity, or a young person’s need to belong. These risks affect boys and girls. Avoiding the reality will not keep children safe; preparing them to face it wisely can.
The Example of Luqman
In preserving Luqman’s advice to his son, the Qur’an offers parents a lasting example of thoughtful guidance: “O my son, establish prayer, encourage what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you.” (Surah Luqman 31:17)
Luqman did more than deliver orders. He taught and explained, advised with love, and stayed engaged. That approach offers the kind of parenting model families need today.
We Must Stop Reacting and Start Leading: Too often, parents become involved only after a problem has emerged. Guidance should begin earlier. Ask your daughter:
• Who are your closest friends?• What difficulties are you facing?• What hopes do you have for the future?• What brings you happiness?• Is anyone making you feel uncomfortable?• What kind of support do you need from me?
Questions asked calmly can open doors that anger would close. Listen without interruption and offer guidance without humiliation. A daughter who trusts her father is much more likely to seek his counsel before making a decision that could change her life.
Community Problems Require Community Solutions. Families should not be expected to confront these pressures in isolation. The wider community must share responsibility for building support around them.
1. Establish Fathers’ Forums
Each neighborhood should consider monthly meetings where fathers can discuss:
• The challenges of parenting• Teenage development• Online safety• Islamic upbringing• Mental health• Ways to strengthen relationships with children
Strong fathers help create strong families, and strong families provide the foundation for strong communities.
2. Create Community Action Groups
Volunteers can provide practical assistance to families by:
• Identifying young people who would benefit from mentoring.• Arranging educational talks and family activities.• Helping parents find advice and support.• Linking youth with positive role models.• Working alongside mosques and schools on youth initiatives.
The purpose of these groups should be encouragement and support—not surveillance, policing, or shame.
3. Develop Mentorship Programs
Well-trained men and women with sound character can serve as mentors for younger girls and boys. Young people will often respond to someone who has recently faced similar challenges and understands their experience.
Mentorship can address:
• Islamic character (Akhlaq)• Modesty and self-respect• Education and career planning• Leadership• Confidence• Responsible use of technology• Healthy friendships and relationships
4. Organize Activities That Inspire
Young people need constructive spaces where they feel valued and connected. Communities can offer:
• Sports and fitness activities• Qur’an circles• Leadership camps• Volunteer projects• Career workshops• Public speaking clubs• Reading circles• Entrepreneurship training
A strong sense of purpose makes young people less likely to search for acceptance in places that may harm them.
5. Ask the Difficult Questions
When troubling patterns emerge, families and community leaders should examine the causes honestly:
• Are parents giving their children enough quality time?• Do families share meals together?• Are Islamic manners taught with the same consistency as academic achievement?• Do children feel safe speaking openly with us?• Are we demonstrating the conduct we expect from them?• Have we created enough opportunities for healthy recreation?
Understanding the underlying causes will accomplish more than simply assigning blame. Protecting Our Daughters Means Building Their Strength. Protection is not the same as isolating girls from society. It means preparing them to move through the world with faith, wisdom, confidence, and dignity.
Teach them:
• Their worth comes from Allah, not from public attention.• No one should pressure them to abandon their principles.• Education and ambition are compatible with modesty.• Healthy boundaries demonstrate strength rather than weakness.• If they encounter pressure or danger, home must remain a safe place to seek help.
Our Sons Also Need Guidance
This responsibility does not concern daughters alone. Sons must be taught respect, accountability, self-control, and honorable behavior. Raising righteous young men is essential to creating a safer environment for the entire community.
The Prophet ﷺ was sent to perfect noble character, and cultivating that character remains a responsibility shared by us all.
Our Legacy
Years from now, our children are unlikely to measure us by the money we earned. They will remember whether we listened, offered direction, showed love, remained present, and helped them know Allah. If fathers become more engaged, mothers receive stronger support, mosques welcome young people, respected elders mentor even a few children, and families choose guidance instead of silence, the community can raise a generation that is confident, compassionate, and firmly rooted in faith. Our daughters are not a burden to manage; they are a trust (amanah) from Allah.
May Allah grant our parents wisdom, our youth righteousness, our homes tranquility, and our community unity.
______________________________Ameen.R. Ateye
