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Foreign ISIS Combatants Submit to Northeastern State Officials

Garowe (AX) — News recently spilled from Northeastern State's corridors of power: a handful of Islamic State foreign operatives have laid down their arms and surrendered to local authorities, as proclaimed by the Information Minister, Mahmoud Aided Dirir, this past Tuesday. These individuals had been tangled in the web of militancy, but now efforts are rolling into motion to send them back to their homelands. Tapping into a global network, authorities are counting on allies like the International Organization for Migration…

Northeastern State Minister Rejects Allegations of Federal Aid, Accuses SoDMA of Misconduct

AXADLE, Somalia – In a fiery exchange reminiscent of a family dinner gone wrong, Northeastern State's Minister of Humanitarian Affairs, Ubax Abdirashid, has shot down assertions by the Somali Disaster Management Agency (SoDMA) that aid has been flowing into Northeastern State like water from a broken pipe. With gusto, Minister Ubax slammed the agency for making up tales as if auditioning for a soap opera, leveling accusations of corruption and shady dealings in the aid distribution game. "Aid to Northeastern…

Northeastern State Extends Pardon to ISIS Militants as Counterterrorism Efforts Intensify

Northeastern State is actively joining forces with international bodies like the International Organization for Migration (IOM) and the Red Crescent. Together, they’re crafting plans to send home foreign combatants who lay down their weapons and surrender. Dirir mentioned that while they’re keeping the specifics like timelines and nationalities under wraps, the ultimate goal is clear: these individuals need to return home, and it all has to be orchestrated under proper legal guidelines. "We’ve got foreign fighters in our…

Northeastern State Dismisses Federal Government’s Assertion of Providing 200 Tons of Food Assistance

Mogadishu (AX) — The Northeastern State authorities have firmly dismissed allegations from Somalia’s National Disaster Management Agency (SODMA) claiming that they received a hefty 200-ton shipment of food aid in Bosaso, a bustling port in the semi-autonomous region. In a straightforward comeback, Ubah Abdirashid Hirsi, who holds the Minister of Relief and Disaster Management post in Northeastern State, made it crystal clear that the federal government hasn't sent any food aid to them. She didn't mince her words, stating,…

Northeastern State Troops, Backed by Global Allies, Launch Offensive Against ISIS in Bari Region

Northeastern State's Bold Strike: A New Chapter in the Fight Against ISIS BOSASO, Somalia - Armed with grit, guts, and a little help from some international friends, Northeastern State's security force launched a daring aerial assault against ISIS. This late-night venture, set under a canopy of stars, zeroed in on the elusive positions of Islamic State in the craggy landscapes around Isku-Shuban. It was like finding a needle in a haystack, only with more drones and less poking. The darkness didn't dampen the effectiveness…

Foreign Fighters from the Islamic State Capitulate in Somalia’s Northeastern State During Military Offensive

Islamic State Fighters Wave the White Flag: A Surrender Story in Northeastern State, Somalia AXADLE, Somalia — Well, here’s a twist in the tale: the usually elusive foreign fighters of the notorious Islamic State have decided to call it a day and surrendered to the local defenders of Somalia's Northeastern State State. This surprising turn of events was revealed by none other than the chatty Information Minister, Mahmoud Aided Dirir, who's got his fingers on the pulse…

North Western State of Somalia Fishermen Found and Saved Near Djibouti After 29 Days Lost at Sea

In an inspiring turn of events, three fishermen from North Western State of Somalia, missing at sea for almost a month, have finally been found safe near the coast of Djibouti, marking the end of a grueling 29-day survival saga that left their community in anguish and suspense. The unpredictable journey began on December 6, 2024, when these hardy souls set off from Berbera. Their small vessel, however, soon ran into mechanical woes, rendering them powerless and adrift on the uncertain seas. Khadar Ibrahim Abdillahi, one of…

Ex-President Carter Honored in Washington as He Lies in State Following Procession

The late U.S. president Jimmy Carter was honored with a somber and dignified military ceremony as his remains were transported to the U.S. Capitol. There, he will lie in state until the national funeral scheduled for later this week. Jimmy Carter, who passed away on December 29 at the remarkable age of 100, served as president from 1977 to 1981. He gained widespread acclaim not just for his time in the White House but also for his humanitarian work after leaving office, recognized globally when he received the Nobel Peace…

North Western State of Somalia Claims Federal Government Meddles in Livestock Trade

Hargeisa (AX) - In a surprising twist of events, the North Western State of Somalia government has fired accusations at the Somali federal government, alleging interference with their livestock exports via the Berbera port. They claim that the tax proceeds from this bustling trade are being funneled directly to the Somali Ministry of Finance. Now that's a real kicker!Echoing the defiance of a proud speakeasy owner during prohibition, North Western State of Somalia’s Minister of Livestock, Omar Shu’ayb Mohamed, has proclaimed…

North Western State of Somalia Police Officer Fatally Shot in Gabiley Following University Exam

Hargeisa (AX) — Tragedy struck on a peaceful Tuesday afternoon in Gabiley district when Buuh Ismaeil Mirre, a dutiful police officer from North Western State of Somalia, met a brutal end. Local inhabitants reported he was gunned down on his way home after tackling a university exam, a milestone he did not live to celebrate. "We both wrapped up our exam around 5:30 p.m., and Mirre mentioned he would stroll home with some other guys," recalled Abdi Yusuf, a fellow student who had ferried Mirre to the exam site earlier that…

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