A Journey to Discover My True Identity

Linda Ewack always felt a disconnect growing up on a reserve. It was only after a revelatory DNA test that she uncovered the hidden complexities of her heritage. (Kirk Fraser photo/CBC News)

Linda Ewack narrates her personal experience for CBC News’ First Person column. For more about these heart-warming stories, kindly visit the FAQ.

Imagine this: Growing up in a tight-knit Saskatchewan town, I always felt like a square peg in a round hole. The other kids made sure I never forgot it. In the dark, they’d jeer, “Hey, smile so we can see you,” poking fun at the stark contrast between my teeth and dark skin.

While I knew from my mother that I was part-Indigenous, my skin was undeniably darker than the other kids in my Ocean Man First Nation home. My mom mentioned that I was also half-Black, but all she knew about my biological father was his nickname, “Jimmy,” and she thought he might be Jamaican based on his circle of friends.

My school was in a rural town with no other Black kids in sight. Following the traumatic 9/11 attacks, negative stereotypes and prejudiced attitudes toward Black people and Muslims seemed omnipresent. Navigating through this complex social landscape was nothing short of tumultuous.

Embracing my Black heritage wasn’t just difficult—it was practically non-existent. Similarly, connecting with my Indigenous roots felt foreign. As a kid, Indigenous ceremonies and sweats didn’t resonate with me. But over time, I grew to cherish and embrace this aspect of myself, thanks to my mother’s deep-rooted cultural heritage.

Despite my mother’s love, I always felt unworthy because my father abandoned us like we were invisible. Discovering my African roots filled a void within me that binge-drinking and self-loathing had exacerbated for years.

An Unanticipated DNA Revelation

December 2022 became a turning point. I decided to take a DNA test through 23andMe, curious but unprepared for what I would discover. As my partner recorded my reaction, I opened my phone to find that I was 49 per cent Ethiopian. I started laughing—then crying—as I processed this new information. My mom knew so little about my father; it was almost comical. But I also learned that I had a half-sister I’d never met. Family always meant the world to me, and finding out about her was both a joy and a tear-jerker.

She was born in Regina but had moved to Toronto. She had more information on our father—his name was Jimale—but no clue about his whereabouts.

During this upheaval, a distant cousin from the UK, connected to our father’s side, reached out. A phone call from this cousin days later revealed more family secrets: grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. Sadly, our father had passed away a few years earlier due to COVID-19. The realization that an earlier test might have connected me with him was a gut-punch. But now, I had a whole new family to explore.

My new sister was eager to meet our newfound relatives. Although I was nervous about how they’d accept me as a Two-Spirit person, her courage paved the way. The family even bought me a ticket to visit them in Somaliland—right after our paternal grandfather’s passing. When I met my sister at the airport, the resemblance was uncanny. She was beautiful, and looking at her, I realized that I was beautiful too, despite everything I’d internalized growing up.

Standing amidst my new family members in Somaliland, I felt a sense of belonging I’d never known. They embraced me wholeheartedly, showing me that despite my lifelong self-worth struggles, I was indeed loved and cherished. Meeting them dispelled the negative stereotypes I had grown up with about Black people and Muslims.

North Western of Somaliaand my family have endured relentless conflict but have risen like a phoenix. This newfound family taught me a crucial lesson: no matter how tumultuous life gets, it’s never too late to rebuild. My family consists of people deeply connected to both Indigenous traditions and Islam—two worlds that now coalesce within me.

This journey launched by a simple DNA test taught me that I am whole. I am Two-Spirit, Black, and Indigenous—and I am 100 per cent me.

For more such inspiring stories, visit CBC’s First Person.