We may all hate the big clubs right now, but we still love the big players.
Many bad things have happened this week, but in 90 minutes we want to forget everything, and what better way to do that than by ranking Europe’s top players and celebrating Shrek’s 20th anniversary at the same time?
Grab your donkeys. Let’s go into this.
Weghorst is in the shape of his life | HANNIBAL HANSCHKE / Getty Images
“Okay, no one’s moving. I have a kite and I’m not afraid to use it. I’m a donkey on the edge.”
Maybe Wout Weghorst is secretly a dragon? That would explain why Bundesliga defenders are terrified of him this year.
The Wolfsburg man bagged twice in two games this week and took him to the 20-goal mark for the first time in his career.
One of the most underrated strikes around?
Benzema tormented Cadiz | Fran Santiago / Getty Images
“Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”
Is that a quote from Lord Farquaad or Real Madrid President Florentino Perez?
When he is not thrown to the wolf by his club owner, Karim Benzema scores many goals.
His run of seven straight games with one goal ended this week, but the Frenchman bounced back with two goals and an assist in Real’s 3-0 victory over Cadiz to start a new run.
Iheanacho has finally found the form | Richard Heathcote / Getty Images
“What are you doing in my swamp?”
What does Kelechi Iheanacho do on Jamie Vardy’s grass?
Iheanacho has taken the goal-scoring duties for Leicester and has plundered nine goals in his last nine Premier League matches and even added four goals and an assist in the fox to the FA Cup final.
He has scored 36 goals for Leicester since starting in 2017, and over a third of them have come in the last two months.
Lingard almost earned West Ham one point | David Rogers / Getty Images
“We can stay up late and exchange male stories, and in the morning I make waffles!”
Someone turns Jesse Lingard into some waffles. The man has served them.
He did not have his best game against Newcastle, but the West Ham man still managed to get on the points side. There are nine goals in just ten games for the Hammers.
Muller has created for fun | Martin Rose / Getty Images
“So where is this fiery pain in the neck, anyway?”“In the tower, waiting for us to save her.”“I was talking about the dragon, Shrek.”
It is Thomas Muller who has saved Bayern Munich these days.
Muller added two more assists this week and has now scored seven goals in his last six games. If that’s not enough for you, his assistants have directly earned Bayern ten points since February.
Silva has impressed this year DANIEL ROLAND / Getty Images
“What is it? It’s awful.”
“Well, it’s not that nice. It’s just a donkey.”
A pretty ugly week from Andre Silva.
Eintracht Frankfurt’s shocking 4-0 loss to Borussia Monchengladbach will cause Silva to crash to the ground all of a sudden, but he got at least things on track with a goal against Augsburg.
Moreno fought in front of goal | Juan Manuel Serrano Arce / Getty Images
“Donkey, two things okay? Shut up!”
Turning Gerard Moreno off has not been easy in recent months.
This week, Levante limited him to one goal when they fell 5-1 to Villarreal, but Moreno’s good mood will have been ruined when he pulled a plot in a surprising 2-1 loss to Alaves.
Haaland had another impressive week LEON KUEGELER / Getty Images
“I like that boulder. It’s a nice boulder.”
I like that striker. He’s a nice striker.
This week, Erling Haaland proved exactly why he is the most coveted man on the planet. He beat Werder Bremen twice and then showed his range with an assist in the 2-0 victory against Union Berlin.
Mbappe kept PSG alive Matthias Hangst / Getty Images
“It will do, donkey. It will do.”
PSG vs Saint-Etienne were pretty boring the first 77 minutes, and then lost the hell.
After the visitors finally broke the deadlock, Kylian Mbappe went up to prove that PSG would not be tangled up and scored two goals in eight minutes to put his side ahead.
Saint-Etienne equalized in the 92nd minute, but the day was saved by Mauro Icardi’s 95 – minute header.
Messi plays out of his skin | Eric Alonso / Getty Images
“Onions have stocks. Ogres have stocks … You understand that? We have both stocks.”
We’ve seen the stocks for Lionel Messi’s game this season, and boy, is it fun to watch.
After his two-goal game (including one of the best strikes you see all year) in the Copa del Rey final against Athletic Club, Messi danced around Getafe to two goals and one assist.
I would say he is the best on the planet, but right now Messi is on his own planet.
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