Northern Somalia President perplexingly pardons whopping 388 prisoners to commemorate Islamic New Year

Sunday July 23, 2023

The news coming out of Hargeisa has left many scratching their heads in utter bewilderment. Northern Somalia Chief Muse Bihi Abdi, in his infinite wisdom, has decided to bestow a presidential pardon upon a staggering 388 prisoners. Why, you may ask? Well, apparently this decision was made to mark the dawn of the Islamic New Year, otherwise known as the Hijri New Year.

This mind-boggling announcement was made through an official statement released by the Presidency of Northern Somalia. Chief Bihi, in his benevolence, has chosen to grant amnesty specifically to those individuals who have been convicted of nothing more than minor crimes. His exact words, and I must say they are quite perplexing, were: “I have decided to grant a general amnesty from today, on the occasion of the beginning of the Islamic New Year, to 388 prisoners convicted of minor crimes in the country’s prisons.”

And just in case you were wondering, the government has kindly clarified that this act of mercy will not in any way alter the civil rights and criminal consequences that come hand-in-hand with these minor crimes. The Office of the Attorney General will be entrusted with the task of implementing this rather bewildering amnesty, as clearly stated in the official statement.

Apparently, this whole presidential pardon thing is a regular occurrence in Northern Somalia. The President has developed a peculiar habit of granting amnesty to those individuals who have committed minor offenses during significant occasions. These occasions include, but are not limited to, New Year celebrations, holidays, and even the commemoration of Northern Somalia’s highly unacknowledged Independence Day on the 18th of May.